this dog's gonna kill me, no really
by amaniacalherbtells
Summary: So Stiles is walking through the woods because he's awesome and they're awesome and his best friend has abandoned him in favour of sucking face with some girl - and there's this dog. Creepy stalker dog. Creepy stalker dog that follows him home.


Scott doesn't care much for the woods in Beacon Hills. But Scott is a n00b. The woods are awesome and sprawling and huge, and you can just kick back there and walk and Beacon Hills is so tiny that even if you get lost you're never _actually_ lost and the woods just seem huge when in reality they're not if you're awesome like Stiles is and have explored for, like, ever.

Nothing and no one will ever convince Stiles that the woods are a bad place. Occasionally bad things happen there, but they're woods. That's part of the appeal. It's what makes Stiles think he's the protagonist in some motherfuckin' werewolf movie or some shit. Like The Wolfman! only not because the protagonist of The Wolfman is the wolfman and that would be terrifying and hurt. Poor Larry Talbot. So yeah, maybe not the protagonist of a werewolf movie - he's gonna go with the hero instead. Only then he'd have to kill the werewolves and that would probably make him faint or something.

Somehow he thought wearing a red hoodie in the woods was a good plan. -10 points to Stilinski.

He is so not Little Red Riding Hood. He read somewhere that the whole fable of LRRH is an extended metaphor for prostitutes and those who solicit them. Stiles is so not a whore it's unreal. He's just a happy normal virgin guy.

So Stiles is thinking he ought to just remove wolves, were or otherwise, from this equation altogether when there's a howl and he thinks hey werewolves because it's a fucking logical leap right now and hey werewolves!

Eventually Stiles breathes and his heart rate decides to conform to the healthy box because 'Oh thank God, you're just a dog.'

It cants its head to the side and just glares with these bright blue eyes - no seriously it is glaring at Stiles and then he notices that its leg is stuck in some rope and some of the neighbourhood kids are so getting the Sheriff sicced on 'em so bad.

The dog whines at him which doesn't really fit the look of the thing which is like someone crossed an Alsatian with a wolf and said hey let's paint it black!

Should probably get to saving the dog now.

It doesn't claw at him or try anything when he approaches. It certainly doesn't growl which he's heard they do, you know, growl at people they don't know. It's actually pretty trusting. Doesn't mean it looks pleased though. More resigned that it needs Stiles to free it and then it's gonna growl and bite and scarper.

It does growl at him, once it's free, but then it nudges his knee and Stiles' heart just got stolen.

Stiles suffers a small stroke when it barks and nudges him again before he realises that dogs want to be petted. So he pets it. He's never had a dog so it's awkward 'cause he's not sure what to do so it's really just three taps on the head but the dog stops nudging him and doesn't snap again.

'So,' Stiles says and then thinks that he sounds like a douche because he's in the middle of the woods addressing a dog for crying out loud. It isn't even his dog. 'So, um. I'm done here. I'mma leave you to being a dog now, go find your owner or something.'

The dog is giving him the look again. Like when it was still trapped. It's a kind of 'bitch, please' look with added contemptuous 'human' tacked on to the end. Basically it translates as the look Stiles knows all too well; it's the 'you're an idiot Stiles Stilinski.' look and he doesn't much appreciate it coming from the dog whose leg he just freed.

'That's gratitude for you.' The dog keeps at it. 'God, fine. Maybe I should've just let you stay stuck, huh?'

Stiles stares at the dog and the dog stares back at Stiles and it goes on like this until Stiles is sufficiently creeped out by the constant eye contact and walks away. It sure as hell isn't his dog so he figures he has no actual reason to continue this freaky staring contest.

This is Stiles walking through the forest. Hey, when did it get so dark?

This is Stiles walking across town.

This is Stiles on his porch and hey this is Daddy-O opening the door - 'Hi, Dad.'

'What's with the dog, Stiles?'

Dog? Oh wait that dog? Stiles turns and yep - that dog.

The dog doesn't even look at Stiles' dad, pleading or otherwise it just gets up and walks past him, pausing on the stairs to look back at Stiles and what the holy hell - he's being beckoned to by a dog.

Is it, like, opposite day or something? Is this dog just contrary for the lulz?

'Looks like it's made you its pet, Stiles.' his dad says, flat and amused. 'You look after him while you try to find his owner.'

'How d'you - He?' Stiles is pretty sure that his father is not a vet. Pretty sure.

His dad just shrugs, 'He's all sharp angles and vicious eyes. If he claws you to death I was against this from the start.'

'Wow thanks for the vote of confidence, daddy-o.' He makes his way up the stairs to where the dog - which needs a name - is waiting impatiently, it's growling like someone just kicked it. 'What're we gonna feed him? What're we-'

'We can give him some of the meat from dinner tonight and tomorrow after school I want you to take him to the animal clinic and get him checked out, maybe buy him a collar. And you'll need some posters if you're gonna find his owner.'

'Anything else, dad?' Stiles will maintain that he doesn't whine anymore. He'd be lying but still, he's gonna stick to that story.

'Nothing else son,' he says dryly. 'You might wanna give him a provisional name though. And don't just call him dog.'

He's not even gonna grace that with an answer. 'Come on, sport.' he says to the dog which then nips his hand enough to make Stiles fear for his fingers ohgod but not hard enough to even break skin. 'Not too keen on sport, then. You're gonna be so fussy. I bet you have only the premium food as well.' He drags a hand over his face and opens the door to his room which the dog saunters into and makes himself at home on Stiles' bed for christ sake.

'Oh you are not sleeping there, limp or no limp, mister.' The dog just growls at him and the stare/mexican standoff is back.

'Stiles, grub's up!'

'On my way, dad.' He pauses and motions to the dog 'Stay. We will continue this staring competition when I get back.' He gets to the door, dog's still on the bed but Stiles doesn't trust this mother so he says it again. 'Stay.'

The dog stays silent for a moment and then barks.

'Holy crap.'


End file.
